Tubing!
by TheCatWithTheHat
Summary: The flock decides to go tubing with some of Dr. Martinez's friends. And not lazy river tubing - SKI BOAT tubing! What shall happen! R&R, *this much* FAX. ONESHOT.


**A/N: I know I should be focusing on my other stories, but I really wanted to put out a Maximum Ride oneshot, and I went tubing with my maniac uncle who is a crazy boat driver, so I just wanted to type this up…**

**Disclaimer: JP will never tube like I tube. **

"Max? My friend called up earlier..."

I pulled the sheets off my head to see the form of my mom standing over me. She had her cell phone clasped in her hand, and her eyes were wide and tentative.

"My friend from work has a boat, and he wanted to know if you wanted to come on it."

Nudge danced into the room. "He has tubes, Max! We could go tubing!"

I sighed. "Sure...let me get changed, okay?"

I swung out of bed as my mom and Nudge left, pulling the door closed behind them. Tubing, wow. I've never been. I got dressed and headed downstairs, following my nose to the kitchen, where Iggy was standing at the stove in his trunks, frying bacon.

I realized something. "Mom...our bathing suits aren't exactly human-appropriate," I informed her.

She sighed. "Just put on a shirt over it, 'kay? Rudy doesn't care if you wear your clothing."

"He better not," someone behind me muttered darkly. I whipped around to see Fang standing behind me, muttering to himself. Nudge danced in behind him, her string bikini peeping out the top of her low-cut shirt.

"Where the hell did you get this stuff?" I demanded, plucking at her shirt.

"Ella and I went shopping," she said defensively. "Plus, he has a son..." She giggled, and I pretended to barf.

"Rudy has one son, and he's Max, Fang and Iggy's age," Mom said sternly. "So don't get any ideas. He also has a daughter between Angel and Gazzy. Their names are Dean and Kit. So be nice, mmkay?"

Nudge elbowed Gazzy. She seemed very excited about this whole thing. "No flatulence. Please."

Everyone groaned.

**!**

A few hours later, we had arrived. Mom forced us to ride in the car because she didn't want Rudy to be suspicious. So we all crammed in her van and were off. Of course, since Fang was just stubborn that way, he got shotgun. I was crammed between Nudge, who was singing, and Iggy, who was fiddling with something that I was afraid to even look at. Gazzy, Angel and Ella sat in the seats in front of us. Every time Fang turned around, I shot him the dirtiest look I could possibly muster.

Anyway, when we got there, Rudy was waiting. Kit was with him, and Dean was nowhere to be seen. Rudy was a big man. Lots of muscles, beefy, a little red-faced. He had a booming voice that startled the birds in the trees whenever he used it.

Kit was a tiny little thing. Fang could break her in half with one hand. She had red hair, wispy, that floated to her shoulders. She had big blue eyes and freckles covering her entire body. Her hand was in Rudy's, and I couldn't see any of it. She had a cute little yellow sundress on, and her bare feet wiggled in the grass.

"Valencia!" Rudy boomed. There was a shrieking and scattering from above us as the birds scared and then resettled. I glanced up at them and pulled my wings in tighter. "How are you?"

"I'm good!" said Mom, and allowed herself to be pulled into Rudy's embrace. When he had let her go, he boomed:

"Is this the brood?"

"Yes," Mom laughed. "This is my daughter Max, and this is my other daughter Ella. And these are their friends Fang, Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy, and Angel."

I glared at her. I thought we were using the fake names.

"Right!" Rudy said. "DEAN-O!" he yelled. The birds scattered again.

A window on the second floor banged open and a boy stuck his head out. "What, old man?" he yelled down.

"Get your ass down here!" Rudy yelled, and Dean banged the window shut. A second later, he opened the door downstairs and came striding out on the grass.

It was awkward for a moment. I gaped at Dean. He had orange hair, like literally orange, and it stuck up in spikes all over his head. His eyes were a warm, chocolate brown, and he was tall. As tall as Iggy. He would be skinny if he wasn't so muscular. He had his hands jammed in the pockets of his trunks, and he scowled down at us.

"What." It wasn't a question.

Rudy smiled. "This is my co-worker Valencia, and these are her delinquents." He grinned.

Mom smiled. "These two," she said, pointing at me and Ella, "are my daughters. And the rest are staying with me for a little bit."

"Why don't you take the oldest three up with you, Dean?" Rudy boomed.

Dean frowned some more. "Fine, goat chin."

He turned on his heel and marched back up to the house. Me, Fang and Iggy followed tentatively after. We followed him through the house, up some stairs, and into a large room with a sign hanging on the door reading "The Great Room". Inside, some mattresses lay on the floor, and an unfinished game of Blokus was scattered between them. A few soft yellow golf balls were lying in the corner.

Dean sank onto his mattress. "How old are you guys?"

"Fifteen," Iggy said. Dean looked at him hard.

"What's up with your eyes, dude?" he asked curiously.

Iggy turned his sightless gaze on Dean. Dean swallowed hard. "I'm blind," Iggy said.

"Oh," said Dean. It was awkward for a moment, and Dean turned his eyes on me.

"I'm Max," I said, introducing myself. "And that's Fang, and that's Iggy."

Dean seemed taken aback by our names, but he quickly recovered. "Cool. I'm Dean, but you know that. And my sister's Kit." He peered at me, and behind me, I sensed Fang tense on the wall where he was leaning. "How did all of them get to be staying with you?" he asked curiously.

"KIDS!" Rudy bellowed from downstairs. "MY HAIR IS GROWING DOWN HERE! THE BOAT WON'T WAIT FOREVER!"

I spared Dean an apologetic glance and ran downstairs. Truly, saved by the bell. We went outside, where the grassy backyard sloped down to the lake, and a rickety dock stretched out even farther to an old wooden platform with a speedboat tied to it.

We made our way across the grass and over the dock. The walk was a lot longer than it looked, and by the time we got to the platform, I was sweating. All I wanted was to dive in the lake, but I'd already been warned by Rudy that the water was up to my knees until about a hundred yards out. If I dove, I'd break my neck on the bottom.

"So..." said Rudy, clambering into the boat. "We should have enough lifejackets to fit all of you..."

"Lifejackets?" I hissed at my mom. "You never told us we had to wear lifejackets!"

Mom shrugged. "Tubing equals lifejackets," she said indifferently. "If you want to go, you gotta wear one. Sorry, kiddo."

I bristled. "But what about the-"

"Max. There will be absolutely no need for any feathers of any kind. Got it?"

I swallowed and accepted the lifejacket from Rudy. Slipping my arms through the holes, I clasped it shut. It hurt the bases of my wings and my upper chest felt like it was being squeezed or being hit by a hard ball or something. I winced and loosened the buckles.

Next to me, the rest of the flock was struggling in the same way. Ella, Dean and Kit all had theirs on and were watching us curiously by the time Iggy and Fang finally wrestled theirs into place. Angel had given up and had needed Nudge to do hers up for her. Then we all climbed in the boat and were off.

The oldest four - me and the three boys - squeezed in the front while the rest sat in scattered places through the back. The wind whipped my hair as Rudy put more and more pressure on the throttle, and I leaned my whole body into Fang. It bothered me that there was about six inches of lifejacket between us, but I tried to ignore it and focus on Fang's arm on my shoulder. Dean and Iggy made lame conversation until Rudy slowed the boat to a stop.

"Who's ready to tube?" he asked.

"Well, who wants to go first?" I asked, expecting Iggy and Gazzy to jump up out of their seats.

"All six of you can go at once!" Rudy beamed. He opened a seat and pulled out a large circular tube. Then another. And another. He tossed them into the water.

"Okay, we'll try to balance this out evenly," he said, tying knots in ropes so quickly and with so much expertise I couldn't follow. I swallowed hard. "So we'll have Fang and Angel...yes...on the middle. Max and...Gazzy ...you'll be on the left. Nudge and Iggy on the right. How does that sound?"

I swallowed. I guess there was no getting out. Especially if I didn't want to look like a wimp in front of Iggy and Fang and Dean.

Fang smirked like he knew exactly what I was thinking. We made our way to the back of the boat while Rudy went over the controls with us. "So, thumbs up means faster, thumbs down means slower, and if you go like this –" he drew his fingers across his throat "- that means stop. Got it?"

"And," Kit piped up, "if you make a yawning motion, it means GO CRAZY!"

Rudy glared at her. "Right. You can do that. Dean will be spotting for you. Now get situated! This crap is taking too long!"

Chastised, we clambered on the tubes, pushing off from the boats. From right to left, it was me, Gazzy, Angel, Fang, Nudge, and Iggy. I wanted to have the boys on the outside edge, putting myself on the outside edge for me and Gazzy.

"Okay," they yelled from the boat. "Let's go!"

Rudy accelerated. Nudge screamed. Even though nothing had actually happened yet, I felt adrenaline pounding through me.

Rudy took a hard left. Dean told us on the way here that there was a right way and a wrong way to drive on a lake – that is, always drive counter-clockwise. That's why I put the boys in that order. But it could never prepare me for the violent whiplash that came over us when the turn made it back to the tubes. First Iggy and Nudge sailed over the wake, skidding along the surface of the water. Nudge was hollering her head off, and Iggy had his eyes squeezed closed and his mouth opened in delight. Then Fang and Angel followed, their tube actually leaving the surface of the water as they skipped over the wake. They crashed into Nudge and Iggy's tube, almost causing the latter to fall off. But he hung on.

Then Gazzy and I took off. Our tube careened across the water, flying over the wake. I fought the urge to snap open my wings. My knuckles whitened on the handles of the tube. The rope caught in the wake for a second, spraying my face with droplets. I blinked hard, not wanting to take my hands off the tube for a second. Then we crashed into Fang and Angel, causing them to hit Nudge and Iggy again. Nudge and Iggy's tube went vertical for a few seconds, and I heard Nudge's piercing screams. But then Fang reached up and pulled them flat again.

The last two paragraphs happened in about ten seconds.

Rudy twisted the handle hard to the right. I had time to think, _Oh no._ And then we were off. I screamed loud, feeling the tube buck under me as we hit some chop. We went flying over the wake and skidding over the wake, white with bubbles from the motor. Then we hit the other side of the wake, soaring over it and then slamming into the water on the other side. The water roared in my ears. I reached over Gazzy and clasped a handle on his side, desperate to hang on. He was laughing manically.

Then came Fang and Angel. Their tube crashed into us, and for a second, I was certain we would flip. But Fang, who's arm was also fastened over Angel's back, grinned and climbed over Angel.

"HIJACK!" he yelled, and leapt onto our tube, landing next to Gazzy. I screamed as Gazzy wiggled over, making room. Angel laughed.

Then came Iggy and Nudge. They hit Angel's tube so hard that half of it slid on top of Fang. He grinned and pushed it off. _Wow, he was really having fun. _I'd never, ever seen Fang act like this before.

Gazzy wiggled out from underneath me and hijacked Angel's tube just as Rudy twisted the wheel the other way, then straightening out. We all went skidding back over the wake, but not as violently. Fang turned and grinned at me once we'd settled, and I leaned forward and kissed him. I could hear the exclamations from the boat when we didn't break apart, and kept at it.

Then suddenly I wasn't on the tube anymore. I was in the air for a split second, feeling like a complete and utter idiot. Then I hit the water with enough force to bruise. I opened my eyes for a millisecond. As water shot up my nose, I saw swirling green water above me and a glimpse of sky. Bubbles surrounded me. Then I was on the surface, gasping and clutching my nose.

The boat circled and came back for me as I bobbed in the water. I counted heads on the tubes. _One, two, three, four…_Where was Fang?

"Having fun?" a voice said in my ear.

I gasped and kicked away. "You scared me!" I scolded him.

"Sorry, your Highness." He flashed a smile and leaned in for another kiss. I granted him a small one, but the boat came up to us and stopped us from going farther than was okay for Kit's eyes.

Dean leaned over the side of the boat and slapped Fang's hand. Ella was laughing so hard there were tears in her eyes. My mom was staring at us disapprovingly, her arms crossed. And Kit's eyes were wide and shocked.

"PDA's a no-no on the tubes!" Rudy called. "Swim for the ropes!"

I nodded and swam for the ropes. Grabbing on, I let them slide through my fingers until the tubes came up to us. Fang and I climbed on – back in our original positions.

Once we were ready, Rudy took off again. We'd gone for about five seconds before it happened.

I looked over at Nudge and Iggy. Iggy had his legs curled under him, and at a lull moment, he stood.

"Iggy, NO!" I shouted, but it was too late. He jumped.

Time slowed down. Iggy's arms were spread, and he soared across the water, blocking out the sun. He winked, and then –

Time sped up. Iggy thudded onto our tube. The shock made Gazzy bounce right off – one second he was there, and the next he was gone. I looked back to see his head bobbing up and down in the water, his hair plastered to his face. He grinned and made a thumbs up at me.

I turned back to Iggy and cuffed him on the back of the head. He grinned and ducked his head. "You are an IDIOT!" I told him.

"Professional," he muttered.

The boat passed us. "Dude, you sure you're blind?" Dean called incredulously. "'Cause that was incredible."

"You ready for some air?" Rudy called.

_Air? Huh? _I was new to all these boating terms. Gazzy climbed back on, and Iggy crawled over Angel and Fang back to Nudge. He settled and gave the thumbs up.

Rudy flashed a grin over his shoulder. Then he twisted the handle hard to the left.

The boat started circling, slowly. I watched in terror as the term "air" became clear to me. The second the circle was complete, Rudy hit the throttle, and our tubes hit the little mountain range of waves that had cropped up.

Our tube cleared the water. I screamed, joined by four other voices. _Iggy was screaming_? I looked over.

Iggy and Nudge's tube was at least ten feet in the air. Nudge had her eyes squeezed shut. Both of their feet were at a 45 degree angle, pointing up. Both of their mouths were open, screaming in terror. Except Iggy's lips were curved upward in a smile, and Nudge's was wide open with hysteria.

They hit the ground. Bouncing, they landed right on top of Fang's head, most of his body disappearing, with just his knees down visible. A muscular hand reached out and pushed them off.

Then, Gazzy and I hit a wave. We didn't get as much air as the other two did, but for a second, I panicked. My wings were trapped! I couldn't –

We hit the water. The shock jarred my neck. I bit my tongue, and Rudy slowed.

"You all right?" he called to Iggy and Nudge.

"**DUDE!"** Iggy yelled. "YOU HAVE **GOT** TO BE KIDDING ME! THAT WAS THE BEST THING THAT **EVER** HAPPENED TO ME!"

He and Fang slapped high-fives.

"Ella and Dean want on!" Rudy called back. "Who wants to get off?"

"Nudge and I will!" I called, and Nudge shot me a grateful look. We jumped in and swam to the boat, passing Dean and Ella on the way.

"Good luck," I told Ella darkly.

"Max, you got some pretty good air!" Dean told me. "But Iggy and Nudge got the best air I've ever seen in my life!"

"Glad to be of service!" Iggy called.

Nudge and I climbed on the boat. Fang winked at me from the tubes where he was waiting.

_Pretty good day, all in all._

**Hahahahaha! That was fun to write. Just over 3k words, too. So I hope you enjoyed it.**

**R&R?**


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